lifes a bitch...and u turn atheist

lifes a bitch.......

well i m down and low now and so many things working on my head...well is this the life of every being..i ask myself everytime...have friends who bitch bout me to my other friends....

parents don have time to call n chek on ya...or is it that everyone hates u....evry action of urs is watched and u feel ur damned in life....ur life is ruined....

ppl its such a sad life...ppl add to ur woes...ur treated as an outcast...weary and pathetic life..

Well dusnt everyone make a mistake..the poignant point is that u realise at this juncture that no one exists for you...its a case of pain and grief strucken u....

its as though u've committed the most disasterous mistake...well ppl sad life..y dus evry individual or only this sucked up "me" have to face such instances....its such a crisis when u lose faith in god or anything supernatural...u soon realise u becomin atheist....

all that strikes u is insanity...u feel u reached a dead end where its only u n de wall in front...well its not like the robert frost experience..its u and solitude..none to share ur happiness or grief..wat a life...u find that evrything is turnin wrong..things u thought u d get away with strike u hard...the pain is impinging..u realise ur in a fix and none can u get u out of this...

u tend to lose interest in worldly things frm things like small amenities...ppl its this time when u realise that money or power is not everything in life...one soul thats the for u to say "Main Hoon Na"is more important...

ppl look for all the wrong things in u which u least wud expect..they doubt u for wrong things....
wy is it such a sad life.. i really dunno ppl...is it time i see a psychologist or do sumthing wrong and end my life or land myself up in jail....

my brains gone numb...dunno whom to look forward...i'm hallucinating the wrong things..which i very well knw are wrong but where do i nip this situation or phase of life...or aint i normal like all others...wats this striking me....

i dunno whom to ask to help find a solution....

its that time of my life where i feel that my needs aint satisified and the contradictory...wats this happening to me...it feels like i wudnt mind bein run down by a road train but wad then remain in these "Sands Of Time" is even more verse(worse)...i wud be called a loser and a coward..i dunno if even a handful wud be there to attend my funeral..

I this wat evryone faces on this phase of earth...is there nothin really supernatural..agreed i sound like "CALVIN"...but seriously i just am wishin i atleast had someone like "HOBBES" whom i cud bullshit all i want and he wudnt ask a question...

and i just realised i repetitively used many words which could again bring in criticism on my english skills....well am i being over sensitive to all that happens around me...god knows or who does?????

insanity!!!i've found it..

here i've another close frnd rubbin it in that nothin can really make sense to ppl and me being the key word..well i srsly where i m headin or this life is taking me...

i bet many of u wanna tell me on my face that its u who steers ur boat but its not working ppl..
the waves are rough and i guess the tide is high and i sit here in solitude without knowing which way to steer to find glory...or will i evr find sum such thing...well frnds is it u'll help me or i'll have to find someone new....i dont have an answer to so many questions....who's that who'll pull me out of this mess....

i m in that state when old n tragic lyrics make sense to u out of tha blue...
u find happiness and goodness and u still seem lonely...u r in a room with hundred ppl but none of their smiles or happiness makes sense to u...is it just u or is it that ur out of place..
or is it all others life will be better without u....
well evrythin is destined or serendipitous...if i need to beleive that school of thought then i guess i m doomed in this life with no where to go...where am i heading..who's gonna show me the sign board or is there really someone there to show me the sign board....

well are they gonna show me the board or bored i really dunno but i srsly cant how ppl live life with such pomp n splendour...i m turnin inane..lacking meaning and virtue of life...

i guess i ve ranted and bored y'all who cared to read this stuff...well ppl don be surprised if ya gonna hear something stupid weird or crappy cos i seriously dunno and dont realise wat i'm heading towards....i guess i'm getting raped in evry possible way and its sad to realise such an occurence...thank u ppl...u mite nev knw this mite be my last blog for a long long time cos i dont wanna spread my grief with y'all and here i go to find sumthing eternal....wat is it i dunno happiness pomp splendour riches.............................................SLEEP......i really dunno....gud luk..